Island Crime

Hello. I know I haven’t been around this space for 2 years. Life is sweet but very full – I am still writing, and I’m slowly at work on another novel. I’m not able to post regularly here, but I want to still pop in once in awhile to share a small story snippet or reflection. If you’ve been following along with Pen and Fire’s very erratic updates over the years, thank you!

I hope you’ll enjoy this odd little flash fiction piece – inspired by my favorite place in China, detective stories, and aliens.

–

“Leave me with the body.”

The two pathologists exchanged a glance, but Jianyu knew they wouldn’t pose a challenge. They were young and too eager to cement their careers. “Supervisor Chao gave me full authority over this investigation.”

“It’s not part of typical procedure—”

“Neither is calling retired detectives back in,” Jianyu snapped. “I have no qualms going back to my condo and getting fat on mooncakes.”

He knew that would be enough. They might wonder how a detective could find anything a trained pathologist missed, but Jianyu was famous for blazing the trail on alien crime. The expert on alien physiology and psychology, he had worked the full gamut of a case, from lab work to paperwork to hostage negotiations.

“Alright, alright.” The pathologist who spoke held up his hands and moved toward the door. The other followed.

Jianyu studied the corpse. His name was Kri’tan. Male Scargodd—a cunning alien species with small colonies on Earth—working at the consulate in Gulangyu, China. A passerby found him in the alleyway under his home: a crushed skull and broken third-story window told the rest of the story. It was a shik’hok—Scargodd lodging—with the window at the end of a corridor. Every shik’hok was access-controlled, which made other residents immediate suspects.

He had told Chao this was a standard case, which didn’t warrant pulling a detective out of retirement.

“In most of these cases, another Scargodd is the perpetrator, and this looks no different,” Jianyu had said.

“Scargodd-human tension are at a peak. We’re trying to avoid a war,” Chao insisted.

“So, are you making me a scapegoat, since the Scargodds already hate me?”

“No. I need an airtight case. We cannot risk antagonizing them further. Whoever did it, make sure the evidence is indisputable.”

“And you’re out of young investigators?”

“I trust you the most.”

Jianyu had run his fingers through the few strands of hair left on his head. Chao was the only who could convince him to come back, and soothe the ruffled feathers of his superiors. He was the reason Jianyu didn’t retire in disgrace.

“Fine. I owe you, anyway.”

–

Xiaobo, the other detected assigned to this case, was half his age, newly-minted as a detective two years ago. Jianyu despised working with a stranger, but the request had come from the head of Criminal Investigations. Chao didn’t need to say it, but they both knew that distrust of Jianyu was widespread.

But Xiaobo was sharp, and he excelled in the one skill Jianyu lacked: talking to strangers.

“None of the humans will know anything,” Jianyu grumbled.

They meandered the path from the Scargodd consulate back to Kri’tan’s shik’hok, questioning small shop owners and merchants who were on his route to work.

But they offered little insight, and the best Xiaobo’s sweet-talking achieved were discounted black sesame tang yuans. Jianyu bit into the glutinous ball, cursing when the hot filling scalded his tongue.

“It’s the Mid-Autumn Festival. They’re too distracted with customers to talk about a dead Scargodd,” Xiaobo said.

“Let’s check out his shik’hok.”

Xiaobo looked at him in surprise. “They did a thorough sweep already.”

“We weren’t there. Leave no stone unturned.” 

They followed the cobbled alleyways to Kri’tan’s home. On Gulangyu, a panoply of eastern and western architecture peppered the island, from Corinthian columns to red pagodas. Since it was already home to multiple cultures, it seemed a fitting location for the Scargodd consulate.

Well, fitting to some—not to most natives.

The shik’hok was composed of black marbled walls. Jianyu wrinkled his nose when they stepped inside, inhaling a damp, mildew scent. Sharp, dark hallways curved around them like scimitars, shutting out the airy, seaside aesthetic of Gulangyu.

“Why did you want to work this case?” Jianyu asked, as they scoured Kri’tan’s room. Bright yellow tape was peeling off the black walls, and contents of drawers—papers, extraterrestrial paraphernalia—were spilled across the floor.

“They asked me.” 

“Did they? That’s not what I heard.” He kept his voice light.

Xiaobo paused, wearing a puzzled look. But Jianyu could see the steel beneath his gaze, and the temperature in the room dropped.

“You begged Chao’s superiors to let you on this.”

His partner’s composure slipped further. “Why are you wasting your time looking into me?”

“Because I look into everyone,” Jianyu returned evenly, picking up scattered papers from the ground and rifling through. “The pathologists only scanned for saliva on Kri’tan. That’s how you identify Scargodds. But I dusted for human fingerprints too.”

“So?” 

“I also pulled the tenant list on the shik’hok. You’re Kri’tan’s neighbor.”

There was a thick silence, the two men staring each other down. Finally, Xiaobo’s shoulders sagged.

“My baba had his construction business destroyed when the aliens started putting up their buildings. Our family was destitute. I swore I’d make it right. That night, Kri’tan was in the hallway, taunting me about living in a shik’hok—” His eyes darkened.

“You lost your temper, and threw him out the window.”

“We can pin this case on another Scargodd. None of the neighbors are saints.”

Jianyu let out a long breath. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why? I know how you feel about their kind. Anyways, you told me what evidence you found. I can destroy those fingerprints and hack the tenant list before you report me. It will be your word against mine.”

“No, it won’t.” Jianyu dropped the papers and unbuttoned his collar, revealing a mic. “You forget, a detective’s loyalty is not to his people or his emotions. A detective’s highest allegiance is to the truth. I’ve sacrificed much on that altar—popularity, relationships, some say my sanity. That’s why I get the job done.”

Before Xiabo could move, sirens wailed overhead.

Photo by Lavinia Occeña on Unsplash

Bullet Train to London

I originally wrote this speculative flash fiction piece for Havok, though you can’t access it without membership. My 6-month exclusive contract was up ages ago, so I can publish it here now. And if you’re still keeping up with my terribly sporadic updates, you deserve a fun little shot of adrenaline. Enjoy the read!

–

“Last mission before you retire, eh? Ready to go home?”

Home. Kiera immediately pictured red double-decker buses, Big Ben, and intimate theaters. Her small studio, overlooking the Thames, would still be unfurnished after her months away. And Justin—was his corner cafe still in business?

“I’ll miss this. But it will feel good to go out with a win,” she muttered into her transmitter.

Pip laughed. “Well, the clock is ticking on us.”

Kiera glanced at the digital stream on the rim of the train: 43 MINUTES to LONDON. The clock was indeed ticking on them.

She picked up her pace as she moved into the next compartment, her gaze sweeping across rows of passengers. Their faces were masked in shadows thrown by the dim lighting and covered windows. Kiera felt a pang of envy at the thick, wool blankets draped around their seats. A shiver went down her spine as she straightened her thin cocktail dress.

“Are you in position?” Jotham’s voice came across the line.

“Yes.”

Kiera paused in front of the final cabin, Black Rail Bullet: First Class. The doors slid open with a hiss.

She handed the uniformed guard her ticket and scanned the cabin. A circular bar sat in the middle of the compartment, chandelier lights glancing off long-necked glasses. A familiar classical tune filled the room—Fur Elise.

“Beethoven!” Pip exclaimed. “What a sound for sore ears. After months of that screeching the Valiums call music.”

“Focus, Pip,” Jotham returned.

“Sorry, boss. This new comm system is remarkably clear.”

Kiera blocked out the chatter in her earpiece as she examined the two dozen or so figures scattered around the room. A green light blinked in her left pupil. Facial match.

“Got him,” she whispered.

She walked further into the cabin and slipped onto a vacant stool beside him, signaling the bartender. “One Negroni, please.”

The man beside Kiera cocked his head towards her. “Haven’t seen someone order that in a while.” His own Old Fashioned appeared untouched on the counter.

“Is that a surprise?” She gestured at the other guests.

“Fair point.” He swiveled to look her fully in the face. His raven hair and square jaw lent him a handsome look. “Is London home?”

Kiera shrugged. “It was. We’ll see.”

“Long time away, then.”

“Yes.” She locked gazes with him. “And I’d like to have something to go back to.” She pushed the fold of her dress up to her knee, revealing a holstered gun. “This hurts more than a normal bullet, Wren. I suggest you tell me where you’ve hidden the weapons.”

Wren appeared unfazed, amusement rippling over his features instead. “They’ve got pretty girls working for them now, is that right?”

Kiera’s hand went to the gun, gripping its handle. “We know there are illegal weapons on board. They’re not getting through our borders.”

“How did you get that onto the train?” He motioned at her holster. “Security’s tight.”

“We have an arrangement with Black Rail.” Her expression hardened. “You’re not the only one with people everywhere.”

He laughed. “I’m afraid you’re still one step behind. I bought Black Rail two days ago.”

Pip cursed in her ear, and Jotham drew a sharp breath. Kiera felt her stomach hollow out.

“And you conveniently told us you were coming,” Wren continued. “There are no weapons aboard.” His eyes flickered to the digital stream and she followed his gaze.

31 MINUTES to LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM, EARTH.

She flinched as he leaned in to whisper, “The train is the weapon.”

“What?”

“No harm in telling you now… You have thirty minutes to live. It’s rigged to explode when it detects Earth’s atmosphere.”

London was not the primary target. Jotham voiced the same awful realization that hit Kiera. “Pip, get down into the crawl space! There’s nuclear fuel running this train!”

“Are you doing this for the Valiums?” she demanded. “What did they offer you for a suicide mission?”

Wren smirked. “It’s not suicide, darling.”

His hologram flickered, just once, and he vanished.

Kiera stared at the empty space, berating herself for falling prey to his gimmick. She swallowed a large mouthful of her Negroni and looked around. A diverse cast of alien species surrounded her, communicating through incomprehensible dialects. All of them blissfully ignorant of their impending doom.

“Pip, Jotham, did you hear everything?”

“Impeccably. What happened to Wren?”

“The old holo trick. Sorry I was slow on the uptake. What are our options?” Kiera willed herself to stay calm. Justin. I will see you again.

“Not many.” Pip’s somber voice mixed with the sound of clanking metal. “We can force an explosion before it hits the atmosphere. Trade the lives of the passengers aboard for, well, Earth.”

“No,” Kiera breathed.

“Unacceptable,” Jotham intoned simultaneously. “Can you disarm it?”

An intercom announcement interrupted them before Pip could give a verdict.

“Attention, Black Rail passengers. We will be arriving in London shortly. Please have your documents ready, and thank you for traveling with us.”

The window blinds lifted. Black space sprawled out on both sides of the train, while a palette of stars coiled through the darkness. Earth loomed large, a brilliant blue orb suspended before them.

Kiera’s throat tightened. “You have to stop this, Pip.”

“Okay, this might be crazy”—he broke off, a cackle of static on the line—“I’m going to rewire the sensors, so hopefully it won’t recognize the planet as we enter the atmosphere: the instrument readings won’t match.”

“Wren said the train was rigged to explode only when it detects Earth’s atmosphere,” Jotham mused. “All right, do it.”

Silence overtook the line. Kiera watched the clock.

16 MINUTES to LONDON.

Her heart leaped when their comms crackled to life.

“Done. But don’t celebrate too early,” Pip warned.

Kiera could not tear her eyes from the window as they sliced into the mesosphere. Clouds fogged around them. She held her breath, fists clenched, painfully aware of every rattle and vibration.

Then, a glorious, midnight cityscape blazed into view below.

“Welcome home, team.”

“Bullet Train to London” – Available Today Only!

HavokStoryImage.jpg

Popping in with a quick announcement: my flash fiction story, “Bullet Train to London,” is live on Havok! It’s available and free for all today only (you can become a paid member, and access all the stories from this year so far).

If you want a quick (and hopefully fun) read, take a peek! And leave me a comment / rating if you’re able to. Thanks friends!

The Misfit Pioneers

This piece first appeared in 1:1000, an online literary journal. Check out their excellent stories! 

Ming hauled the door open, her lips pressed together against the chill. Rubbing her hands, she dusted the white flakes off her coat and hurried inside.

She rarely came to this side of campus. Though it was a small university, the engineering students kept to their quarters and the art students to theirs. A quiet thrill shot through her at this minor act of defiance.

The art studio exhibited a curious architecture. Filmy drapes hung on black bars, almost like shower curtains. Bulging pipes peered from the ceiling. A string of lights crisscrossed overhead with no real symmetry. Concrete walls splattered with ash and paint. At least the low-rise tables and chairs appeared orderly and clean, gathered in blocks across the tiled, gray hardwood.

It was a very American studio, at least in Ming’s mind. Back home they would not tolerate such a design, even for a creative workshop. Ventilation pipes belonged behind walls and makeshift lights would be tossed in favor of unobtrusive ceiling fixtures.

Naked. That is how she would describe the room.

“Escaping the cold?”

She jumped at the voice. Turning, she found a lanky, raven-haired boy watching her with an amused expression. His hands were dark with charcoal dust.

“I wanted to wait for the snow to stop. I parked in the main lot.”

“You’ll be waiting awhile, then.”

Ming shrugged. She did not want to dwell on what prevented her from going home earlier, much less explain it to a stranger.

“Are you a student?” she asked instead.

He nodded. “Just transferred from art history to art. Drop a word from my major’s name and gain another year’s worth of work.” He grinned. “I’m Jonah.”

“I’m Ming, electrical engineering,” she said, knowing that was sufficient explanation for why they were not acquainted.

“Ming,” he repeated. “Cool name.” Jonah glanced at the dirty window, the edges frosted over with snow and ice. “It doesn’t look like the storm is letting up. I make a mean hot chocolate, if you want me to fix some up.”

She hesitated for a moment but agreed. The roads were dangerous, and the hot and humid weather of her hometown had not prepared her for the bitter winters here. Besides, Jesse would not call anymore and Ming did not want to be home alone with her thoughts.

Jonah had an easy, unaffected manner. He filled the silence with small talk about his life as he bustled around the kitchen area. Ming sat at a table nearby and listened. She learned that he switched majors late, so he spent frequent nights in the studio playing catch-up. Unlike most college students, he disliked coffee, but had an unhealthy addiction to hot chocolate.

“It’s my grandma’s recipe. No sugar,” he boasted, as he set two steaming mugs before her.

The warm, rich scent filled her nostrils. “Thank you,” she said.

He pulled out the chair opposite to her. “So, Ming. Does your name mean anything?”

“It’s the same word for ‘bright’ in Chinese. It’s quite common.” She paused. “What about Jonah?”

“The prophet, in the Bible.” He grinned at Ming’s blank look. “God sent him to preach to a wicked city, he disobeyed, and was swallowed by a fish for three days.”

She considered it for a moment. “It seems like bad luck,” she said finally.

Jonah laughed. “He made it out alive. It’s a great story, actually.”

Ming flushed and fell silent. Her family burned incense, prayed for health and prosperity, and tried to live good lives for karma’s sake. In her last two years in America, her circle of engineering friends rarely discussed religion, philosophy or literature. If Jesse worshiped anything, it was Bruce Willis movies, which he insisted were a sufficient lens into western culture and ideals.

“Do you plan to go back to China after school?”

“I wasn’t, but—” Ming stopped abruptly, a painful twinge in her chest. She met Jonah’s eyes, steady and kind. “My boyfriend is from here. He broke up with me today.” The words fell out in a rush.

Jonah’s eyes crinkled. “I’m sorry.” Then he added, “He’s a jerk.”

Surprised, Ming glanced at him. “You don’t know him.”

“Of course not. But he probably is.” He held up a hand to stop her interruption. “Here’s a rule for breakups. Get rid of that urge to defend him.” A crooked smile slid up his face. “I don’t know him. I know you. I’m on your side, alright?”

Ming suppressed the urge to tell him that his logic was convoluted and nonsensical. She had to admit it felt good to have someone on her side.

She and Jesse shared the same circle of friends. Or, more accurately, Jesse formed their circle of friends and drew her in when they began dating. Ming knew this was nonsensical too, that the loss of one relationship could make her feel so unanchored and lonely on a campus teeming with students.

“Thanks,” she said. “My friends were all Jesse’s friends, so…” she trailed off.

Jonah nodded in understanding. “Jesse is from the Bible too. Father of a king,” he murmured. “I’m guessing your ex isn’t that great.”

Ming couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t think so. And how are you living up to your name?”

“I’m all for seeing the inside of a fish.” Jonah grinned. “I like a good adventure. I’m forming a campus club for explorers, actually. The Misfit Pioneers. Have you heard the rumors about this place?”

She had. The administration tried to check wild gossip, but students still whispered about secret passageways and treasure troves buried beneath the grounds. Ming could never decide if it was the typical American obsession with conspiracy, or if there was some truth wrapped in the stories.

Jonah was on the ground, wrestling with something in the tiles. “This is what happens when you spend too much time here,” he called up to her. She heard a crack and an entire tile came loose. A plume of dust rose as he heaved it aside.

Ming yelped and joined him, peering into the darkness.

“What’s—in there?” she asked.

“Not sure. I was going to check it out sometime, hopefully with a buddy.” He met her gaze. “So, interested in joining my club?”

“How many people are in it?” she asked, still distracted by the gaping hole in the floor.

“Well, now there are two of us.”

 

Photography by Anthony Delanoix. Story by me. Original publication here.

The Zephyr Christmas Files, Part VII

Read [Part I], [Part II], [Part III], [Part IV], [Part V], and [Part VI].

Part VII. A Farewell to Fear (Finale)

MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 12:09:23 AM
From Jansen to Darby 

How did it go?!

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 12:12:10 AM
From Darby to Jansen 

[LOREN-MAGS.JPG]

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 12:13:40 AM
From Jansen to Darby

My life is complete.

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 3:25:12 AM
From Avery Chan to Darby Chan 

Oh Darby.

I would too. To answer your last question. I would be home in a heartbeat too if things were different.

For some reason our Internet is being rationed to the extreme, so I have only minutes to write, and no way to do justice to this topic.

You are brave, my sister. You are brave to look at these hard things in the face and ask hard questions that I don’t have good answers to. Let’s agree now that we will talk about all of this in person when I come home, even if it’s awkward and difficult. (Pinky promise?)

Would you consider going home for New Years? There’s still a bit of break left if you change your mind. No pressure, but maybe that would help—you, mom and dad. And me, to know you’re there.

Regardless, I love you. And my Internet might cut out any moment but can I just say WHAT ADRIAN HAS A GF? Okay not funny but I can’t wait to hear how Jansen and Mags react to

–

LETTER FROM THE COURT

Re: Speeding Ticket #F9474

Dear Mr. Suzuki,

Thank you for your letter. We have read and considered your petition, but unfortunately, your request has been denied. The $300 fine will stand, and you must complete the required hours of driving school or receive a mark on your record.

We wish you a restful holiday and a happy new year.

–

MARGARET’S JOURNAL

Major update 1: I went to dinner with Loren. He was quite the gentleman and it was actually enjoyable and not too awkward until Adrian and Darby scared the lights out of us. We were indignant, but secretly, they made the evening more memorable. Loren looked like a total deer in the headlights.

 Major update 2: Darby is going home for New Years. She’s hitching a ride with Adrian, who incidentally, was already planning to go home for New Years.

 Major update 3: Apparently, Adrian has a girlfriend. Way to keep us in the dark, Darby. Though Jansen’s reaction was pretty great. 

Major update 4: Loren asked me to be his girlfriend.

I said yes.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:28:02 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

Guys. I can’t believe I’m leaving in an hour.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:30:21 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

We’ll miss you. But we are proud of you, Darby.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:35:29 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

JUKI. ACK.
I love you guys.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:37:10 AM
From Mags to D-Chan, Juki

We love you!

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:40:05 AM
From Juki to Mags, D-Chan

Kids, please don’t get too emotional on me. It makes me uncomfortable.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:42:12 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

Making you uncomfortable is one of life’s great pleasures. Keep me posted on EVERYTHING at Zephyr for the rest of break!

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 9:45:49 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

Yes ma’am. I’ll just be third-wheeling a lot.

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 10:13:30 AM
From Darby Chan to Avery Chan 

Thanks sister.

Just writing to say: I’m going home.

Here’s to being brave and loving fiercely in 2016.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 10:03:09 AM
From Adrian to Darby

Ready to go?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 30, 2015 AT 10:05:18 AM
From Darby to Adrian

Let’s hit the road.

–

Fin.

Thanks for reading, and a wonderful 2016 to you!

The Zephyr Christmas Files, Part VI

(Note: Happy New Year! I meant to finish this earlier, but playing catch up here. Likely 1 more installment after this one. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy!)

Read [Part I], [Part II], [Part III], [Part IV], and [Part V].

Part VI. Home Is Where the Heart Is

JANSEN’S RECIPE FOR A LOVE STORY, V2.0

  1. Boy
  2. Girl
  3. A crooning, soulful voice *

* Why didn’t I major in music? Bad call, Jansen.

–

MARGARET’S JOURNAL

Well, I did it. I talked to Darby. I think it went well, minus the part where she broke down in tears. 

I’m not very good with people crying, especially someone who isn’t ordinarily emotional or weepy. Then you know they feel awkward and horrible to be seen by you, which only compounds your own discomfort. I admit I breathed a sigh of relief when we finished talking, but in retrospect, I’m glad I said something. And since I already put it out there, I just told her what I really thought. I told her she should go home.

I can’t imagine being in my 40s or 50s and spending Christmas and New Years alone, thinking this is what all my years so far have amounted to. I’m sure her parents know Darby and Avery don’t want to face their pending divorce, but for them to avoid home entirely over the break really pours salt onto the wound. 

Darby took it quite graciously. I don’t know if I would have in her place, which makes me feel like a hypocrite, but a very grateful one that I’m not facing the same situation. I just can’t imagine.

On a lighter note, Loren’s performance was fun. He’s actually very good, though he won’t hear me say that aloud. We’ve been messaging back and forth in haikus, and he left me this note afterwards. 

Dearest Margaret,
I hope you enjoyed the show.
Dinner tomorrow?

…I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Is this a date? I’m not good at dates. To dine or not to dine? Why I am so scared of stupid little things like this? 

Courage, Mags.

Okay. I guess I’ll go to dinner.  

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 10:52:02 AM
From Darby Chan to Avery Chan

Dear Avery,

Loren’s show was great! Have I mentioned yet that he totally has a thing for Margaret?

Speaking of her, we talked yesterday about mom and dad. It seemed like she’s wanted to bring it up for awhile but kept it bottled in because, I don’t know, she was afraid of my reaction. Can’t say I blame her.

I know this is the unspoken Taboo Subject We Glaringly Haven’t Discussed. Well, Mags made me sit through it, so I’ve got to dump some of the burden on you too. Sorry. I have to admit though, as I’m writing this, I’m almost glad you’re in Africa right now. It’s easier to communicate this through text than face to face—I think I’ll be more real and open (not my strong suits in real life).

I’m angry, Avery. I’m angry that after so many years and our entire lives together, they would want to break the family apart. I know it’s selfish of me to avoid home (and you? No accusations, I’ll let you speak for yourself) but aren’t they selfish to just give up? There’s so much jaded cynicism already in the world about relationships and marriages, but I just can’t bear that reality actually invading our family. It was always something Out There.

It makes me think, even someone as kind and good as Adrian (who, again, I don’t like; just an example) might become who-knows-what in twenty years. Maybe someone who ups and leaves his family? How can we trust any guy?

How can we trust ourselves?

Now I’m extra glad you’re in Africa. Believe me (I know you do), I would never have said all that to your face. Because I’m not brave. Because Mags was right when she confronted me. I am running away.

Skiing, winter trip, getaway with friends, last school break ever, etc. All of it is an excuse. Because if mom and dad were staying together, I swear I would be home in a heartbeat.

What about you?

Darby

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 11:45:12 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

Are you guys writing New Year Resolutions?

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 11:48:29 AM
From Mags to Juki, D-Chan 

YOU write New Year Resolutions?

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 11:53:39 AM
From Juki to Mags, D-Chan

Last year of college. I’m going to be a new man. Don’t hate.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 11:55:08 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags 

My prediction – Resolution 1: Find a girlfriend.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 11:59:19 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

Well, not all of us have a Dr. Stark magically drop into our winter breaks.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:23:55 PM
From Adrian to Darby 

I heard Loren and Margaret are having dinner…

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:29:20 PM
From Darby to Adrian

Yes…

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:32:25 PM
From Adrian to Darby

I owe Loren an epic prank. Looking for a partner in crime.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:33:10 PM
From Darby to Adrian

That’s really Jansen’s area.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:33:55 PM
From Darby to Adrian

Buuut this is hard to turn down.
Okay count me in.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:40:19 PM
From Adrian to Darby

Excellent. I owe you one.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 29, 2015 AT 12:43:21 PM
From Darby to Adrian

So mercenary of you. I can only hear that in Han Solo’s voice.

–

JANSEN’S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

  1. Graduate
  2. Find a job that’s not in fast food industry
  3. Find a girlfriend

The Zephyr Christmas Files, Part V

Read [Part I], [Part II], [Part III], and [Part IV].

Part V. Like Pixar and Sara Bareilles

MARGARET’S JOURNAL

How to be brave. It sounds like a self-help book, but it’s help that I need. How do you be brave with other people?

This life is so, so fragile. It’s almost ridiculous that most of us live our lives in a false bubble of security, thinking we have however many years ahead of us. “You’re young, and your whole future is ahead!” But who knows. Who knows if, at the next doctor’s appointment, they’ll say cancer, or the next car will plummet off a cliff, or the Earth will spin off its axis into frozen oblivion and no one will even know what happened.

I sound so morbid. It’s not death that frightens me, though. It’s never mustering up the courage to say what I ought to and seize the moments I do have that terrifies me. We spend most of our words on the mundane: weather, food, news, gossip.

Who cares? In ten years, who will remember or bother with that information? Heck, in ten minutes, even. I know a lot of people realize that and think that—so why can’t we break the barrier?

I guess, all that to say, we don’t have many more days left at Zephyr. And there are so many words left unsaid, and I don’t know where to find the courage to say them.

I think that’s why I write. Stories and fiction and everything. Aren’t these made up fairytales and re-imaginings of reality simply ways for us to say all the things we’re afraid to say aloud, bald-faced and bluntly?

I am afraid fiction is simply my cowardice masquerading as courage. 

Well, that will change. Stories may be for the cowards, but they are for the purpose of making us brave.

Before we leave, I will say the words that need to be said.

–

NOTICE: ZEPHYR MOUNTAIN CABIN RESIDENTS

We have a special treat to close out 2015! Our resident musician, sing-songwriter Loren Eastwood will be performing in the main lobby tonight. Loren has served us well this holiday season with delicious hot drinks at the cabin, and we are thrilled to have him share his musical talents with us too.

Loren will be performing some of his original pieces, and everyone is invited. We hope to see you there.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:30:29 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

 Discharged!!

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:32:15 AM
From Mags to D-Chan, Juki

YES! Celebration tonight?

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:33:48 AM
From D-Chan to Mags, Juki

Sure thing. I’m supposed to take it easy though.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:35:12 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

Is that what Dr. Stark said?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:39:43 AM
From Loren to Margaret

Hello Margaret,
Join me at my show tonight?
Your friends can come too.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:42:19 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

Adrian knows I got injured because I took your stupid dare. He’s rethinking his opinion of you.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:43:28 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

Oh I quake in my boots.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:45:38 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

He mentioned Loren’s performance tonight. Let’s go to that?

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:48:30 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

You two better not ditch me for your dates.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:49:13 AM
From Mags to Juki, D-Chan

Let’s do it. (And commence Operation: Ditch Jansen).

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 11:52:19 AM
From Margaret to Loren

Thanks for the invite.
I hope your musical skills
beat your haiku ones.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 2:14:29 PM
From Margaret to Darby 

Let’s grab some coffee in half an hour?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 2:17:32 PM
From Darby to Margaret

 Sure. Everything ok?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 2:18:12 PM
From Margaret to Darby

Yeah, don’t worry!

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 28, 2015 AT 5:39:23 PM
From Darby Chan to Avery Chan 

Dear Avery,

AH you’re alive!

I don’t have a ton of time to write so longer update to follow (we’re going to Loren’s musical performance tonight), but a quick recap:

I sprained my ankle skiing two days ago. We tried the black diamond slope and I was actually getting the hang of it until Jansen dared me to do this ridiculous jump. You know me. I did it. Or tried to – hence the ankle sprain.

Adrian was on shift at the medical center when we came in. Long story short, they did a quick check up, found it was just a sprain, and I’ve been discharged today. It’s a little sore, but nothing I can’t bear. Adrian reprimanded me for taking up a stupid dare. It was kind of condescending, but kind of sweet? I’m not sure.

To answer your challenge: I do have evidence there’s nothing between us.

Adrian has a girlfriend.

Surprise. I know, I haven’t told Jansen or Margaret, so neither of them know, and I think they’re convinced we’re getting married or something. He told me (not in a weird way, just mentioned offhand when we were catching up) the day after we ran into each other here. So trust me when I say that I’ve entertained no notions about us. It really, really is a thing of the past. As for the way he’s treated me—well, you know how he was in high school. Just genuinely kind. Is it sad that genuinely kind is so easily interpreted as something more these days?

I need to go… but I have more to say. Margaret and I had a talk this afternoon that I need to tell you about.

Oh, the suspense. I’ll write again late tonight or early tomorrow. Enjoy your bottled waters.

Darby

P.S. I was able to confirm for real that Adrian does not have terrible doctor handwriting.

The Zephyr Christmas Files, Part IV

Read [Part I], [Part II], and [Part III].

Part IV. Letters to the Court 

MARGARET’S DRAFT

December 26, 2015
Re: Speeding Ticket #F9474

To Whom It May Concern:

I received a speeding ticket on the Zephyr Mountain 85 passage. The officer cited that I was going at a speed of either 50 or 55 miles per hour on a 35 speed limit road. However, I respectfully question the validity of the ticket, given both his uncertainty about my actual speed and the overall caution I take in abiding by the speed limit.

While we were entering a slower zone due to the mountain pass and snowy roads, the speed limit on the typical 85 highway is 55 to 65 miles per hour. I received the ticket almost immediately after entering the 35 speed limit zone, and I was in the process of slowing my vehicle down, with the occasional bump in speed that occurs in driving. Furthermore, the officer could not provide me a definite speed he saw me going at, so I do not agree with his statement that I was driving recklessly above the limit. 

I have never received a speeding ticket before as I regard the traffic laws highly and value the lives of my passengers and others on the road. I respectfully request that you consider my story, rescind the fine, and keep my driving record clear.

 Thank you for your consideration. Please contact me if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Jansen Suzuki

–

JANSEN’S REVISED DRAFT

December 26, 2015
Re: Speeding Ticket #F9474

To Whom It May Concern:

I received a speeding ticket on the Zephyr Mountain 85 passage. The officer cited that I was going at a speed of either 50 or 60 miles per hour on a 35 speed limit road. However, I respectfully question the validity of the ticket, given both his uncertainty about my actual speed and the overall caution I take in abiding by the speed limit my patriotic love for country, displayed in strict adherence to perfectly sensible traffic laws.

While we were entering a slower zone due to the mountain pass and snowy roads, the speed limit on the typical 85 highway is 55 to 65 miles per hour. I received the ticket almost immediately after entering the 35 speed limit zone, and I was in the process of slowing my vehicle down, with the occasional bump in speed that occurs in driving couldn’t help but wonder why, in the turbulent time of 2015, our policemen are stationed on off-road mountain passes instead of in rioting streets. Furthermore, the officer could not provide me a definite speed he saw me going at, so I do not agree with his statement that I was driving recklessly above the limit. I also wonder why, in the year 2015, these instruments are not more precise. Where is our taxpayer money going?

I have never received a speeding ticket before as I regard the traffic laws highly and value the lives of my passengers and others on the road. I respectfully request that you consider my story, rescind the fine, and keep my driving record clear.

Thank you for your consideration. Please contact me if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Jansen Suzuki

P.S. If this ticket is the result of the government being broke, I assure you, they are still richer than I am.

P.P.S. Merry Christmas and happy New Year. It is the season for joy, forgiveness and new beginnings. 

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 AT 10:24:12 AM
From Jansen to Margaret

Thanks, I owe you. Just made some minor revisions.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 AT 10:27:32 AM
From Margaret to Jansen

Uh oh.

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 26, 2015 AT 12:39:43 PM
From Avery Chan to Darby Chan 

Darby!

It’s so, so good to open my inbox to all these messages from you. Sorry my access to Internet is limited, and there’s even a countdown now on my connection as I write. (I blitzed through your emails with lightning speed and now I’m thanking God they forced us to practice typing fast in elementary school).

MERRY CHRISTMAS. I don’t think I have enough connection time to tell you my stories, but I have some good ones. It’s been fantastic here. You’re right – I can’t beat your gift list this year. Perhaps I can only say it’s better to give than to receive, because it’s been pretty eye-opening to work with some of the kids here. The relentless humor in your emails was a pretty great gift too. And this truckload delivery of bottled spring water. It was so beautiful. Like, up there on the scale with that night sky you saw.

5 minutes on my countdown. Please keep writing me updates. Since I don’t have much time to comment, I’ll just say about Adrian: “There’s nothing between us,” you said.

GIRL I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE IN DENIAL. Give me better evidence or fess up.

Avery

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:43:29 PM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags 

Just ran into Loren. He asked if we wanted to try black diamond.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:45:32 PM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags 

Breakfast is over…

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:46:49 PM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

The slopes, not the breakfast, smart one.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:46:49 PM
From Mags to Juki, D-Chan 

Sure.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:49:30 PM
From D-Chan to Mags, Juki 

Whoa. When did Mags become so fearless? …Oh yeah, wait I know.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:51:12 PM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

Sorry Adrian won’t be there. He’s working.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:52:23 PM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags 

WHY am I always your target?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 1:53:02 PM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags 

Mags wrote a letter for my speeding ticket.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 4:19:09 PM
From Loren to Margaret

How is Darby?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 4:25:32 PM
From Margaret to Loren

I think it’s just a sprain. Thanks for helping.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 26, 2015 4:28:18 PM
From Loren to Margaret

Good. Coffee on me. I’ll bring some over to you guys later.

–

ZEPHYR MEDICAL LOG

Patient: Darby Chan
Injury: Sprained ankle
Cause: Slip on snow (A.S. attendee note: and inability to turn down a dare)

The Zephyr Christmas Files, Part III

Read [Part I] and [Part II].

Part III. White Christmas

E-MAIL SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 6:49:23 AM
From Ling Chan to Darby Chan, Avery Chan 

Merry Christmas, Darby and Avery!

I hope you are having fun and learning a lot this winter break. I miss my grown-up girls. Please email me back soon and tell me how you are doing and if everything is fine. I saw cheap tickets for flights over Spring Break – if you want, let me know and I can book them for you.

Love, Mom

–

MARGARET’S JOURNAL

The Five Things I Learned This Christmas Eve

  1. Darby’s high school crush was Adrian Stark. I can make fun of her for wanting the same last name as Iron Man.
  2. Adrian’s best friend is Loren Eastwood. He writes music.
  3. Loren is “coffee guy.” I guess his hit album is yet to come.
  4. I am a bumbling fool when it comes to talking to men.
  5. Cream puffs are vicious when they come at you at 5 (10?)+ MPH.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:21:09 AM
From Darby to Adrian 

I hope the chocolate came out your hair. So sorry (kind of).

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:21:43 AM
From Darby to Adrian 

Oh, and merry Christmas!

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:25:41 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

Merry Christmas crazy kids! Do you think we’ll get expelled?

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:27:25 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

 I think… you’ve got a cruuuuush.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:28:30 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

Grow up Jansen. Back me up here, M.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:30:12 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags

She’s probably busy chatting with Loren.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:30:52 AM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

Mags + COFFEE GUY?!

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:32:32 AM
From Mags to D-Chan, Juki

Jansen lives vicariously through the (perceived) romance of others because he can’t ever find a date.
(Merry Christmas guys)

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:33:12 AM
From D-Chan to Mags, Juki 

I hope that’s the opening line of your autobiography about us.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:33:49 AM
From Adrian to Darby 

Merry Christmas Darby! If I’d known you would be at Zephyr this year, I would’ve gotten you a gift. I have something cool to show you though. Are you free after dinner? (Don’t worry, the chocolate came out. Took three shampoos.)

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 7:35:35 AM
From Juki to D-Chan, Mags 

I don’t have time for dates. I’m busy saving the world.

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 8:28:23 AM
From Yi Chan to Darby Chan 

Merry Christmas Darby! I hope you still remember how to ski. Remember when we went six years ago? Enjoy the time with your friends.

See you soon!

–

ADRIAN STARK SHARED CONTACT [DARBY CHAN] WITH LOREN EASTWOOD.

–

DARBY CHAN SHARED CONTACT [MARGARET LEWIS] WITH LOREN EASTWOOD.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 8:43:23 AM
From Darby to Adrian 

I’m in!

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 10:24:12 PM
From Darby Chan to Avery Chan 

Dear Avery,

Merry Christmas! Please respond soon or I really will stop writing. (Who am I kidding? You’re my outlet for everything).

I spent the whole day out tramping in the snow with J and M. I was afraid I’d get frostbite but we never have white Christmases at home so it was worth it. We came back to the lodge to complimentary hot chocolate and s’mores. I have to say, I’m grudgingly impressed with this place now. I thought we depleted their dessert supplies at the Christmas Eve dinner (a story for another time).

So, in keeping with our tradition of comparing gifts, I’ll bet I beat you this year. Here’s my countdown:

A free vanilla latte from the coffee counter (his name is Loren! He’s Adrian’s BFF)
A fancy moleskin journal from Margaret
Photo book of our college years from Jansen
This wasn’t really a gift but…

Adrian asked me to meet him after dinner (I know, this is what you’ve been waiting to hear about). We hiked up to this grove of trees on a small hill. It wasn’t far from the cabin, but something about that place felt really high up, almost like we were in the stars.

The stars—Avery, I haven’t seen stars like these in years. I’ve been in the city too long. There were so many, it was like sand on a beach turned upside down, poured across the sky in bright lights. And there was this colorful glow: green and blue and even some orange.

I know what you’re thinking, but there’s nothing happening between us. He just wanted to show me, and said it’s a good place to get away from people and think if you need to. (Does he think I need to? Does he think my friends are crazy? Probably.) It’s funny, he treats me almost the same way he did in high school. Like a little sister. It was awful then, but it’s nice now. “Boyfriends are easy to lose, but brothers stick closer than glue.” Remember that? It’s weird that as I get older, I realize things that I once laughed at are actually pretty true.

Darby

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 10:40:15 PM
From Darby Chan to Ling Chan

Merry Christmas, Mom. I’m fine and having a good time at Zephyr. Don’t worry about Spring Break tickets. I’ll look at them later.

Love,
Darby

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 25, 2015 AT 10:45:15 PM
From Darby Chan to Yi Chan 

Merry Christmas, Dad. I don’t really remember how to ski, but I’m doing it anyway. Hope it’s not too cold at home.

Love,
Darby

The Zephyr Christmas Files, Part II

Read [Part I].

Part II. How to “Throw” a Love Story

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 11:41:50 AM
From Jansen to Margaret

Okay, forget coffee guy. You MISSED OUT on the slopes this morning.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 11:45:31 AM
From Margaret to Jansen

?!?!????

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 11:48:30 AM
From Margaret to Jansen

JANSEN SUZUKI DON’T LEAVE ME IN SUSPENSE.

–

E-MAIL SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 2:14:02 PM
From Darby Chan to Avery Chan 

Dear Avery,

I know it hasn’t even been 24 hours since my last email. How convenient that I’m suddenly a needy person when you’re in AFRICA, of all places.

Remember Adrian?

If not, quick recap: The guy from communications class in high school that turned me into a blundering fool and earned me a B when I was actually quite excellent at public speaking.

Okay, I wasn’t.

But anyways, the point is, he was at the ski slopes today. The Zephyr Mountain ski slopes, where I am. (Do you think we’re on the same mailing list somehow, and he got that 50% deal too?) I haven’t seen him in over five years. He’s in medical school now, and volunteering with a physicians’ team here this break.

I’m not sure what the point of this email is. Except to say, what a blast from the past. We just chatted, and Jansen (that good-for-nothing) invited him to dinner with us. It was all extremely, astonishingly normal. I was normal. He was normal. He hasn’t become weird or unattractive or developed terrible doctor handwriting (I made that up, of course I haven’t seen his handwriting).

Don’t read into things, okay. I don’t like him. I’m all Jane Austen. Spinsterhood is the dream.

Darby

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 2:32:05 PM
From Adrian to Jansen 

Good to meet you today. Could you pass along Darby’s #? I don’t have it anymore.

–

JANSEN SUZUKI SHARED CONTACT [DARBY CHAN] WITH ADRIAN STARK.

–

MARGARET’S JOURNAL

I remember when I met Darby in the freshman dorms, all bright-eyed and—unbelievably—a bit shy. Three years later, I’m in the middle of the mountains with her and the notorious prankster from our drama class. Darby took drama precisely because she found it uncomfortable, and she likes to push herself. Jansen took it because it’s completely in his element. And I took it because it was the best place to people-watch and get inspired. You find out what people are really made of when they’re eighteen, awkward, and vulnerable on stage.

We became the Harry Potter Trio, or the Three Musketeers, or something. None of the classics have the right gender ratio for us.

I’m not sure what to do with Darby. I don’t expect Jansen to have a heart-to-heart with her, and it’s not because he doesn’t care or isn’t sensitive, but there’s something to be said for sisterhood. (His idea is to “throw” her a love story this Christmas, the way you’d throw someone a birthday party. Say what?) I know she’s not fine, and I wish I had the courage to confront her pain. I wish I could fight to peel away all the protective barriers she has up. I know Darby has Avery, but she’s in Africa, and I can’t help but think that’s her way of escaping too. 

Five months to graduation. Darby is really the most “together” one out of us, since she already has a job locked in as a mechanical engineer. She can build robots and machines, but doesn’t know how to fix a broken heart.

–

JANSEN’S RECIPE FOR A LOVE STORY, V1.0

  1. Boy
  2. Girl
  3. Christmas and mistletoe?

–

NOTICE: ZEPHYR MOUNTAIN CABIN RESIDENTS

The annual Christmas Eve dinner and dance will begin at 6:00 PM tonight. Dress is semi-formal. We have a delightful evening planned, so come hungry!

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:10:07 PM
From Margaret to Darby

Did you bring a dress?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:12:15 PM
From Darby to Margaret

The prettiest thing I brought was my pink umbrella.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:13:27 PM
From Margaret to Darby 

At least I know I won’t be the only one sticking out like a sore thumb.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:15:12 PM
From Darby to Margaret 

Let’s go all out and wear trash bags.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:16:37 PM
From Margaret to Darby

Hey so did you meet anyone cute on the slopes today?

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:17:50 PM
From Darby to Margaret

…I’m going to put Jansen in a trash bag.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:45:30 PM
From Adrian to Darby 

See you tonight! This is Adrian. Excited to meet your college crew. My buddy Loren is joining us too.

–

GROUP MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 4:58:53 PM
From D-Chan to Juki, Mags

JANSEN you better watch your back tonight.

–

MESSAGE SENT ON December 24, 2015 AT 11:34:39 PM
From Adrian to Darby 

Girl you’ve got a mean aim.

–

NOTICE: ZEPHYR MOUNTAIN CABIN RESIDENTS

All parties participating in the so-called “dessert war” assume full responsibility for the cleanup and damage costs. Further failure to comply with appropriate cabin behavior will result in expulsion from the lodge.

(As a small addendum, some participants should also enlighten themselves in regards to the definition of “semi-formal dress.”)